Rude Awakening

By: precioushh Mood: lonely Date: 07/27/2007 13:09:18 Music: None

On most nights I am plaqued with awful dreams.  Horrid murders, awful happens I am unable to escape from, bad memories I don't want re-lived and of course fears being played out.  I am quite used to waking up in a cold sweat filled with fear, sadness and emptiness.  Last night started with the same array of awfullness, waking through out the night to reassure myself it was nothing but a dream and falling back to sleep to endure yet another.  My last dream however was different.  It was full of tenderness, happy moments, loving moments.  Waking, yet still half asleep I slowly back myself up to what I thought was my (now x) boyfriend in the hopes that I would continue the joy of the dream to find that what I had pressed myself against was the wall.  I was alone, it had been nothing but a dream.  My head swam with the memories of the last time we were in that bed together, it was the last time I saw him.  Ending with a fight he stormed out into the chilled night....... only pictures left to see his handsome face.  It was must certainly worse then any bad dream, at least with those I can convince myself of their fiction.  With nothing but reality to face I sat up willing myself to stay awake as to not re-live the torture once again.  Here I sit hours later, dreary eyed and full of sadness.  An emptiness I can not seem to fill.  Tonight I hope for dreams of murder and horrid tales.........