Hello. I hope you don't mind my adding a comment here; First off, with your profile, you are beautiful; enough that I want to make you turn the frown around;) I have to agree with both Jen10 and yourself. Being a wonderful and loving person will attract practically anyone who's attracted to your qualities both physically and peronally, giving you the opportunities to be selective if need be. However one of the hardest things is getting to that place where you allow yourself to be that way without falling in love with people who bring out any less than your best! It seems to me that you, much like 99.9% of all people including me, need to feel the leadership and encouragement of winning those arguments (you mentioned). It's fun and fulfilling to feel right especially when challenged. But don't challenge yourself with too much negative self talk. I'm saying think positive as much as simply not thinking negative.  Finally, remember everyone is in different places of understanding these simple ways of thinking. I hope I've been making sense as this is as much for me as you! Be true to yourself. Don't hate yourself because you're beautiful; because you are;)