A new book on why some men stray, and what women can do to stop it.

NEWSWEEK: I think a woman ' s first instinct when seeing the cover of your book is, " Why do I have to prevent this? Why doesn ' t he just not cheat? " Gary Neuman: There is clearly no blame on the woman if he's cheated. She's not responsible for stopping him. However, the fact that you're not responsible does not mean that you don't want to take an active role in your relationship to bring out the best in your husband, as he should for you. I've been a marriage counselor for more than 20 years now. I think [hearing] women who have had the overwhelming pain of being cheated on and the subsequent disaster for the kids definitely made me want to find out what they could do other than be victims. Was there something they could do to prevent this and create a mutually beneficial relationship? When I was on [the] "Oprah" show, I talked about 9/11 firefighters who had helped the wives of their fallen comrades and ended up having affairs with them. I think that [example] showed that a lot of men are essentially good people. They make mistakes, but that's not who they are. So a lot of women are married to men who are good but that does not mean they are not susceptible to ultimately cheating.

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